Balance

I came across this really cool site, which explains the philosophies of modern-day Druidry. In the Ethics & Values section, there was this poem by a Cormac mac Airt in response to his grandson, who asked how to behave around different kinds of people:

Be not too wise, be not too foolish,


be not too conceited, be not too diffident,


be not too haughty, be not too humble,


be not too talkative, be not too silent,


be not too harsh, be not too feeble.


If you be too wise, one will expect (too much) of you;


If you be too foolish, you will be deceived;


If you be too conceited, you will be thought vexatious;


If you be too humble, you will be without honour;


If you be too talkative, you will not be heeded;


If you be too silent, you will not be regarded;


If you be too harsh, you will be broken;


If you be too feeble, you will be crushed.

Basically, you should strive for balance in everything you do, which I believe is the key to a fulfilling life. So thank you, oh wise Druid.

God, What a Week

Last Tuesday, I managed to accidentally knock a cup of water right over my laptop, which instantly made the screen go blank. The light was still on, but nothing seemed to be working. So, of course, I panicked. Yet, somehow, three days later, it turned on and was perfectly fine. I was amazed. Still am. I'm not taking any risks anymore, obviously. Any liquid is staying an arm's length away or on the ground.  

I did terrible on my animal lab final and somehow aced the psych midterm, after not showing up to most of the classes and cramming the day before. Which again puts me in a struggle when it comes to my major.

You know what annoys the hell out of me? How higher-paid people are considered more "worthy" than lower-paid people. While we were in Tahoe, my parents told me I could do "better" if I just applied myself, since I used to be so "smart." I could become a doctor or whatever. Like somehow, that will automatically make me more worthy as an adult than what I'm currently considering.

Well, you know what? I don't care about being a doctor. I love helping people, but I know that's not the right way for me to do so. I get grossed out easily. I have terrible communication skills at times. I have no desire to be in school forever. I don't want to be in debt. I don't want to be stressed out daily. I don't want to neglect my family and have my kids turn out messed up.

One of my good friends has made it clear to me that, despite their faith, they think money is a good indicator of someone's worth and even reliability. This messed-up perspective has extended to the classes we're taking. To which I said, quite recently, "Fuck you."

I don't know whether it's my soc class that's opened my eyes to exactly how shitty conditions in America are, or whether it's the election, or whether it's the horrible events of this year's Black Friday, or whether it's just the stuff people close to me have been saying. But I really want to be done with all of this. No, I don't completely shun the value of money to a decent life. But I refuse to let that determine my worth. I want to live life the way it should be lived, to the fullest.

Thanksgiving Break

That was probably one of the best Thanksgivings of my life, if not the best. For once I wasn't stuck eating crappy vegetarian food in LA, surrounded by people that are either too old or too young for me to interact with. I honestly didn't know how ridiculously good turkey was until now. So sad.

My parents came up late Thursday afternoon after leaving SD really effing early. You gotta give them props for doing so many round trips, honestly. Since it was too early for dinner, I dragged them out to watch Twilight because I wanted to see for myself just how bad it was. And bad doesn't even begin to describe it. I should write a review sometime just to relive the two hours of god-awful amusement. After coming back, we had dinner and heated up the turkey, and for the first time in a couple weeks I actually felt comfortably full. 

On Friday we woke up bright and early (only in my opinion) and headed off to Tahoe, which I at first so graciously gave the wrong directions to. We got there, checked in, and I got quite a shock at how cold it was when I first stepped outside. Didn't do much that day besides shop around. I had major issues sleeping that night because I'm not used to going to bed so early and it was freaking hot. 

The next day we woke up bright and early (again, only in my opinion) and headed up the mountain on the gondolas. I saw a bunch of boarders and a few skiers and got quite jealous. Our first stop was just a platform thing, where you could view the lake and such. The other stop was in the SNOW! :D I haven't played in snow in 14 years, goodness. So much fun. I really want to get a bunch of people together sometime and just have a snowball fight. Just... wow. Snow is amazing. 

After that we came down on the gondolas again (which were so hot that I had to take off my coat AND jacket) and stopped by the lake to take some pictures. Then we left.

My mom brought me way more food than I could possibly finish before break. At least I won't starve again for a long, long time.

I have a lab final on Wednesday and a psych midterm on Thursday, both of which I am probably going to epically fail. Then finals are next week. Oh, what a wonderful life college is.   

Coffee Keeps You Awake During Ungodly Hours

I just realized that I kinda miss summer. It wasn't exactly an ideal one, I didn't get to do everything I wanted to, and I definitely had my fair share of problems, but still. It was nice learning how to live on my own in La Jolla, going to the beach all the time, and hanging out with good friends. I even miss going to math everyday and hanging out and cooperating on homework with an old friend. It's amazing how one person can make you feel significantly less lonely on a big campus full of strangers.

If only that happened here.

I really should go to sleep, but I ended up sleeping through the entire morning, then consuming coffee at a not-so-smart time. I definitely need to break this habit next quarter. Four science classes? Yeah, not a good idea to sleep through them all the time. I have to say I'm looking forward to my two animal-based and bio classes. Chem, however, is a completely different story. Completely.

Who invented chem anyways? Honestly...

I Really Have Nothing to Say

Except this:

Half the population of California has failed the state, the country, and the world.

I'm So Nervous

Damn. Today is THE day. I'm scared. It's out of my hands now. 

I've decided not to argue anymore. It's not worth it. I want to get through this day alive. 

And It Makes Me Feel So Fine I Can't Control My Brain

Time's going by much faster than I expected. It's three weeks into the quarter, and I feel like my weekend home is sneaking up very, very quickly. Must start planning.

Anyways, I've been extremely irritated with things lately, although today I've calmed way down. I guess it's just one of my typical phases in which I can't find anything good to say about the world. It helps to have stuff to do (alone, thank you) and to stay out of the house during the day.

I think the only thing that brings me joy and calm these days is an animal. We worked with some goats yesterday, and the doe we milked (yes, milked) was the friendliest, cutest, and most amusing creature I've seen in a while. The cows we encountered (and yes, milked) were also quite awesome. I want a baby cow; they're soft and adorable. :) We worked with horses last week as well. So much fun. Makes me want a horsie now. I should live on a farm.

Weezer concert on Monday was absolutely amazing. Rivers is such a strange person, which definitely makes for an entertaining show. I command you all to go see the Weeze if you never have. 

Oh yeah, I swear my feet have gotten bigger. My Converses are uncomfortable now, and the boots I ordered are a tad too small, even though I got a larger size than usual. Yay?