I did terrible on my animal lab final and somehow aced the psych midterm, after not showing up to most of the classes and cramming the day before. Which again puts me in a struggle when it comes to my major.
You know what annoys the hell out of me? How higher-paid people are considered more "worthy" than lower-paid people. While we were in Tahoe, my parents told me I could do "better" if I just applied myself, since I used to be so "smart." I could become a doctor or whatever. Like somehow, that will automatically make me more worthy as an adult than what I'm currently considering.
Well, you know what? I don't care about being a doctor. I love helping people, but I know that's not the right way for me to do so. I get grossed out easily. I have terrible communication skills at times. I have no desire to be in school forever. I don't want to be in debt. I don't want to be stressed out daily. I don't want to neglect my family and have my kids turn out messed up.
One of my good friends has made it clear to me that, despite their faith, they think money is a good indicator of someone's worth and even reliability. This messed-up perspective has extended to the classes we're taking. To which I said, quite recently, "Fuck you."
I don't know whether it's my soc class that's opened my eyes to exactly how shitty conditions in America are, or whether it's the election, or whether it's the horrible events of this year's Black Friday, or whether it's just the stuff people close to me have been saying. But I really want to be done with all of this. No, I don't completely shun the value of money to a decent life. But I refuse to let that determine my worth. I want to live life the way it should be lived, to the fullest.
