Just Another Vague Post

For a long time, I've been visualizing the different ways I can deal with my situation, yet I keep sticking with my original path, too scared to waver due to all the stupid fears and doubts I have.

Why do I hesitate when the original path is obviously not working out, and probably never was? Why do I feel the need to force myself to do things I hate, convinced that it's all my fault I can't make it work out?

Then I remember that the one time I actually strayed off of it, I didn't regret it. The only problem was that it didn't work out due to circumstances I had little control over.

Does that mean it was the right thing to do, though?

I don't know. I never did.

Update

When Jon Foreman was my around my age, he wrote two songs that I've always been able to relate to, but now they apply even more so due to the fact that he was in college (and a UC for that matter) when he wrote them:

And any hold 
That she can find 
Something to lean on 
Everybody fails her 
Half the time 

-------------------------------------

Immovable shadows 
Concrete girl 
They'll rock your world 
To nothing 
And they're swimming 
Around again, again 

I should be thankful that he's around, and that he writes songs I can relate to, but the sad truth is that he's not there for me personally.

My cat is sitting on the ground next to me. He seems to like my room. I hope he likes me too.